My eyes are tired from the constant glare of the computer screen; been staring at it for ages searching for information related to my job, creating an information bank for research purposes, reading ridiculous yahoo news, and checking out my everyday-must-read blog (firstname.lastname@example.org). I guess it isn’t so much about the time I spend on the computer that bothers me, but the number of hours I spend every day trying to manipulate numbers to re-align with my financial budget on the excel sheet. It tires me out, the incessant need to check if my bank balance would still cover our major needs (my daughter’s and I) anytime I decide to spoil myself a little which is not very often.
I remember how I was before having my daughter; I was the free-spender. I was willing to spend on friends especially when we were out and things got a bit awkward as to who was going to foot the bill. I was always the first to try to make the situation comfortable for everyone. Also, I hardly used to eat in my first three years of college as I always used my allowance to shop for new clothes and anything that was trendy at that moment. Now, I don’t even care about the trends anymore; I’m all about the fashion basics and how low-priced I can get an item that I really want. I can go to ten stores just to check for the one that has the lowest price for the item I like. Instead I would splurge on my daughter’s clothes, shoes, toys and school. It makes me weary but when I think back and see that my daughter is attending a good school, has nice clothes, and other goodies of life, I smile and say to myself, " it is worth it".